Sex Positivity Hop

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Call Me A Slut

I was a late bloomer, and I didn’t have a serious boyfriend until my senior year of high school. Before that age, my parents involved me in their bitter divorce battle. Love seemed ugly and sex seemed dangerous, a notion only fueled by the media in that time period.  I was a “good” girl. I even imagined waiting for sex until marriage (yeah, that didn’t happen).

Well, folks, it is many years later, and I wish I had been different. I wish I’d been… a slut. The word itself is so ugly, right? So judgmental? It’s a word meant to keep young girls virginal. It’s a word for control.

Screw control. If I could go back to that younger me, I would tell myself to have some more fun, to embrace my sexuality, and to refuse those labels.

I’m happy to hear songs like Mary Lambert’s Secrets. When my little daughters sing it, I feel hopeful that negative body images and sexual bullying might lesson in their lifetime.

mary l

However, the news recently makes me worry in the opposite way. As I see choices limited for women and gay rights threatened, I worry. When I see television shows still praising the “good” girl and condemning the “bad” girl, I worry. When I see young boys stereotyped too, I worry for my son.  As long as sex is consensual, why do we not celebrate it?

When I was younger, I would never consider casual sex. I had a rocking hard body (oh, to be 16 again) and thought I was unattractive. I had guys asking me out, and I would turn them down.  Then I actually had sex—- consensual, fun,  safe, wonderful sex—-and guess what?  I fucking loved it.

I would like to think if I had a time machine I’d go back and have even more of it.

When I see people so self-righteous and uptight, I feel sorry for them. The world is a big and beautiful place, and they’ve made it narrow and small. Let’s face it —- sex can’t be fabulous if your outlook is negative.

So call me a slut, a whore, or immoral. The privilege of getting older is I care less what others think of me.

And the sex just keeps getting better….


*Much thanks to the fabulous  Grace R. Duncan for allowing me to be part of the hop

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